My kids love sleeping with 42 blankets each, several pillows, baby dolls and various foxes. If one of those massively important things is missing, all activities must stop and the missing object must be found or we won't be going to bed on this particular night. I won't be a nice mother the next day, so I am willing to drop everything to find the missing link to bedtime or at least direct the child to where the thing can be found. Sam has a habit of getting out of bed 10 or 12 times each evening to let me know of various thoughts going through her head, take bathroom breaks because of the gallons of water she must have drank before crawling into bed, to have me investigate a sound or to bring something to bed that she has forgotten. This particular night when she was a mere 5 years old, she comes out of her room to let me know she needs her yellow blanket. I know that her yellow blanket is in the car so I tell her to go get the blanket out of the car.
"But it's dark in the garage."
"Yep, just turn on all the lights, it'll be fine."
"Ok."
And, off she goes with a brave face on determined to get that all important yellow blanket. The door to the garage opens and closes, then opens and closes again very quickly.
"MOM, you gotta come out to the garage with me, it's bitch black out there!"
And seeing as how I wouldn't want to mess with that kind of darkness either, I am happy to help.
I didn't correct my little Sam on this term because I really didn't want to draw attention to her saying this word. I figured at some point, she would get it right and I hoped in the mean time, the phrase did not become a frequent occurrence in public. She did let me know about some bitch blackness a few other times and once reprimanded my mother (YaYa) for leaving her in the bathroom in bitch blackness, but each time, we just quietly left the room and laughed hysterically. The phrase has left her vocabulary, but I still remember it quite fondly.
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